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Celebrific

Tracking Celebrities in Their Native Habitat

Naughty & Nude

Colin Farrell Sex Tape Will Make Playboy Playmate Millions

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Hello (2).jpgColin Farrell’s ex-girlfriend, former Playboy Playmate Nicole Narain, will make some big bucks if their 14-minute sex tape goes public.  Narain will receive a $3 million advance payment from Internet Commerce Group (ICG) to distribute the film; on top of paying her legal fees, if need be, up to $60,000.

The Irish Phone Booth star is indeed suing Narain and trying to stop the release of the sexy tape that they made three years ago during a brief romance.  The suit states that the release of the video would cause irreparable damage to Farrell’s career and reputation.  Ummmmm….  Does anyone remember Tommy Lee or Pamela Anderson’s careers taking nosedives after their infamous boating adventure?  I quite remember the opposite. 

Farrell is seeking general and compensatory damages as well as a temporary restraining order and injunction prohibiting the sale and exploitation of the videotape. Farrell is just the latest in line of celebrities who have shared their intimate moments with us on camera.  When will they ever learn?  Film it, enjoy it & burn it has always been my policy.

Reportedly in the tape, a video-camera-in-tote Farrell focuses in on Narain’s white cat and comments, “Baby, you have the most beautiful p—y,” that is, according to the New York Post.

Narain, whose physical attributes include a tattoo on her rear and a pierced tongue, displays the latter for the lens. Farrell responds in kind, saying, “I could do this breakfast, lunch and dinner.”   The sexy duo then apparently proceed to try out a variety of steamy sexual positions, hopefully without the cat playing along. 

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Jessica Alba’s Father a Playboy Himself

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Jessica Alba Playboy.jpgThe fray over Jessica Alba’s Playboy cover continues; Susan Storm herself is battling the Playboy tides.  Playboy’s Sex and Music Issue that hit stands this month features a bikini-ed Alba on the front cover, despite pleas to keep her out of the men’s magazine. 

Alba threatened legal action after Playboy bosses put her on the cover & claiming they implied she was naked inside.  The born again Christian insists the powers-that-be ignored her pleas not to appear in the issue. 

She explains, “They asked me to do it and I said no, and then they offered to pay and I said no and then they went behind my back and I just don’t think it’s right.  It’s not the mark I want to make in this business.” 

That mark is for your other business, eh?  OK, when you can type your name, this case being ‘Jessica Alba’, into the Google image search and come back with close to 10 nearly naked photos, I don’t think you’re allowed to complain when Playboy puts you on the cover in a bikini. 

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Immediately following the release of the March issue Alba states, “Then I got a call from my father”.  Who said, “Damn, girl! You’re lookin’ hot and I was half of that damn equation.  That must make me half-hot. Wait until I show the guys at Wednesday night poker!”

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It’s Good to be the Redneck King

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Finally it has happened! My dreams have come true, my prayers have been answered! We now have a Kid Rock & Scott Stapp (Creed frontman) porn! Oh, how long I have awaited this moment!

Ok, I have to do it- an Official Call Out. Kid Rock is a redneck! As well as Mr. Stapp by default. You could find more singing talent in an Alabama liquor store! Sham on you for buying his album and making him feel that “Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy” was a musically decent thing to do. My ears still ache from that dark time period in our history.

And now we have to see red neck oral sex in the newly acquired video from Red Light District production company. This never-before-seen video is an excruciating 45 minutes long and features the Kid and Stapp receiving oral pleasure from several of their groupies while on tour about six years ago. Run & hide groupies, that skeleton-in-the-closet video you thought was long gone and forgotten is back to make your children say, “You know, that kinda looks like my mom.”

Red Light District president David Joseph told AVN.com, “We obtained the tape from a third party. We haven’t decided exactly when we’re releasing it, but look for it in a few months.”

If you’re Stapp, how can you follow up the wedding present to your new bride of drunken intoxication following arrest and missing the Hawaiian honeymoon flight? Oh, I know! A porno!

Cheers!

For a 45-second preview, which oughta be enough for anyone, visit: http://www.kidrocksextape.com/content/front/ or http://www.creedsextape.com/content/front/.
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Move over Woman’s Day, Watch out Vanity Fair!

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Just in time for award season, superstarlets Scarlet Johansson, 21, & Kiera Knightley, 20, are baring all for the cover of Vanity Fair’s annual Hollywood issue, set to hit stands this Wednesday.  

Photographer Annie Leibovitz brings us the delicate images of these beauties, alongside fashion guru Tom Ford.  It looks like Ford opted for a more traditional black suit.

Wedding Crashers babe, Rachel McAdams, was to show all as well, but backed out at the last minute.  Sorry, fans. 

In previous issues of the Hollywood issue, Angelina Jolie posed nude in a bathtub and George Clooney was photographed fully-attired, but shown directing women wearing skin-toned undergarments.

For the cover photo, Knightley is pictured sitting sideways with her legs and arms artfully placed.  Johansson lays on her stomach, draped over Tom Ford’s fortunate legs and revealing her powdery derriere. 

Knightley has been nominated for a ‘Best Actress’ Oscar for her performance in Pride and Prejudice.  Johansson co-starred this year in Woody Allen’s Match Point.

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