Olivia Wilde

For the most part women can pull of the hair changing color thing, but sometimes they just don’t pull it off well enough. Some women were just not meant to be blondes and Olivia Wilde is one of them. If you look at the set of photos from the last the last time I spoke about her you can see that she is a dark-haired kind of chick. She has that sultry, exotic, and seductive thing going that just doesn’t work well with blondes. Blondes have a different type of aura that they present and Olivia doesn’t have it.

That isn’t a knock against blondes or Olivia, but it definitely is a compatibility issue. I’m not sure if she changed it for a role, was born with it or what, but she should never go back. I don’t care if she surrounds herself with jealous friends that wish only for her downfall, this is a far worse fate because it hide her alien beauty. She doesn’t have human beauty. I just won’t admit it because every time I see her part of my brain is telling me that there is something seriously wrong with her head and her eyes and there is another part saying that is what makes her sexy.

As you can understand that isn’t human so it must be alien because they are the closest creatures to humans. Animals stand no chance against aliens and therefore I must compare others to aliens. End of story.

I know that in the past I have kind of made fun of her for looking like an alien, but apparently she only does when the camera is pointed directly at her face. In these pics she is just plain smoking hot and it’s no wonder she won’t stop calling me. You see, I have this problem that whenever a woman is extremely hot, they feel the need to call me up. I can’t explain it and after years of trying to prevent it I have given up and just let it be as it is.

The cool thing is that she is in Tron Legacy and I only say that is cool because I wanted to reference Tron somewhere in this post and I couldn’t very well say Tron without putting cool next to it. Although the film is very CGI heavy I have to wonder if they will CGI her face very much. I mean in the world of Tron is her head any bigger? Did they have to shrink it some along with her giant eyes?

They wear helmets in Tron so did they have to get a special one just to fit her? These are questions that I hope are answered in the movie and if they aren’t then you know they are clearly hoping for a sequel. Those movie producers are so wily.

You think the headline was cheesy? Please, I have done cheesier stuff to win the affection of Ms. Wilde. I once dressed up as a giant donut outside of her house and sang Wild Thing. Why? The donut was a big ‘O’ and represented Olivia and of course the song was about her. It was a perfect analogy of our love and like the donut, our love was quickly gobbled up by a fatty.

Who was the fatty? Imagination. Imagination isn’t a fatty you say? Well it was simply my imagination that I did these things to win her over and when I realized it was not a reality it got gobbled up into thin air.

You see how that works?

Yeah so um she is hot in an alien looking way. I’m not sure if her head is growing and is about to explode or she had some surgery to make her look cartoonish. It is a hot type of cartoonish though so it is all good.

Sorry, I lost $10,000 on the Colts yesterday so I am paying small New Zealanders to write for me.