Kourtney Kardashian

The eldest Kardashian sister seems to love Life & Style magazine, and vice-versa. This is the third time this year that she’s graced their cover.

In January, she shared the spotlight with fellow new mom Kendra Wilkinson. Kourtney opened up about how motherhood changed her lifestyle and showed off photos of her new baby boy.

In March, she wore a red-hot bikini for her post-baby cover shoot. She dished out the diet and exercise secrets that helped her lose a whopping 33 pounds since giving birth to her son Mason Dash in December.

In this week’s issue, she shares the cover with her sister Kim. A slimmer Kourtney shows off her new bikini body in spring’s must-have animal-print bikini. I hope that cover photo isn’t a product of heavy photoshopping, because she actually looks way better than she did before she even got pregnant!

Kourtney is my favorite Kardashian. She is the best looking one and in a weird twist of fate, although she looks like she is the youngest, she is actually the oldest and shortest. She also let the above douchebag get her pregnant. I kid you not, this slick haired grease monkey was able to put it in her, get her pregnant, milk some of her money and he doesn’t even have to marry her.

He gets to stare at Kim in a bikini from time to time and wonder what keeps Bruce Jenner’s face together. I hate this guy. I’m not even going to look up his name because I hate him so much. I want his life even if it does mean I have to see Khloe every once in a while.

What is really weird about her having a kid though is that apparently she didn’t want one before. I can’t blame her considering it will be the spawn of the porcupine, but what kind of life do you live when you are the oldest sister and yet your two younger sisters get to be involved with super rich athletes? And you stick with this idiot?!

Oldest Kardashian? Check. Sexiest Kardashian? Check. Smartest Kardashian? See ya.