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Celebrific

Tracking Celebrities in Their Native Habitat

Tiger Woods

Celebrific Lowdown – May 18, 2010

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Shia LaBeouf is a fool, making negative comments about two recent films he’s been in: namely Transformers 2 and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. His comments disparaged both films in a way that suggests he’s gotten an inflated head. Hey Shia, do you know Katherine Heigl, another notorious motormouth who didn’t know when to shut up a couple of years ago, and put down some of the projects she was with, including Gray’s Anatomy?

Lindsay Lohan may think she’s okay as far as her traffic/ alcohol education classes, but apparently she’s been falling down in Cannes — claiming she’s clumsy and does that a lot — while getting around on the arm of some young man.

Um, this is a surprise why? Apparently Tiger Woods and wife Elin Nordegren, who are about to divorce, are no longer talking to each other. I’m wondering how many more marriages Itchypuss can ruin.

Word now is that not only was Jonathan Rhys Myers behaving badly when he got banned from flying United Airlines, but he was throwing around the N-word. Seriously, do actors just get really stupid and have a loose tongue when drunk, or are there still so many racists in the entertainment industry? Shame on you.

Celebrific Lowdown – May 17, 2010

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In the “fake plastic women you probably don’t want to see naked” dept, Rachel Itchypuss Uchitel will be au naturel for Playboy. Well in her case, au naturel means her plastic fantastic suit, thanks to a few surgeries. Itchypuss is the skank starf*cker mini-celebrity who reportedly conned Tiger Woods out of $10M for sleeping with him. (Tiger, buddy, a hooker would have cost you less and possibly have been more attractive.) That was actually Itchypuss’ sequel appearance in “How to Ruin a Celebrity Marriage.” Despite denials from Itchypuss, text message records show that she had a thing going with Bones’ David Boreanaz, who admitted cheating on wife Jamie Bergman, but who was smart enough to not pay her anything — yet. [Via TMZ]

After the recent floods that destroyed parts of Tennessee and two neighboring states, a number of musicians put on a flood relief telethon with performances and donations of their own. Brad Paisley and his wife Kimberly Williams-Paisley put in $100K, and the total take was $1.7M. But 20 year-old country music singer Taylor Swift had previously donated $500K of her own money. Well, that makes for about $2.2M, which is barely a dent in the $1B or more that cleanup and repair might cost. Maybe Itchypuss will contribute some of Tiger’s her $10M and whatever Playboy pays her.

Olsen Twin Ashley and boyfriend Justin Bartha (Hangover) are reported safe after a JFK flight to LaLaLand made an emergency landing due to an electrical fire and cracked windshield.

Sorry ladies, but if you haven’t and were hoping to hookup with Supernatural hunk Jensen Ackles, who plays the big brother Dean Winchester in one of the best “supernatural” TV shows ever, it’s too late. He and One Tree Hill actress Danneel Harris got hitched in Dallas over the weekend. The two costarred in the comedy Ten Inch Hero back in 20907.

Elin to Divorce Tiger Woods

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It’s been said that highly successful men tend to have very high sex drives, and it appears that Tiger Woods is no different, considering his World Kitty Tour with pretty much any woman in his path, including a neighbor’s daughter. But given what an attractive woman his wife Elin Nordegren is, it makes you wonder what was going on in their marriage.

Men cheat on their significant other probably for two main reasons, and “because he can” seems only to be a mask for “because he’s insecure and needs validation… and because he can easily get it”. (If that’s the case with Tiger, he obviously didn’t get validation considering how many women he supposedly cheated on Elin with.) The other reason is that there’s something lacking in the marriage in the first place, possibly a sexual relationship. Or maybe there’s a third reason and Tiger’s just a sex addict.

I have no idea what the situation is with Tiger and Elin because I tried to avoid reading about it, but it does seem that despite Tiger’s serial infidelity, Elin tried to make things work, taking therapy sessions together and more. But it seems she’s finally reached the end of her forgiveness rope and wants a divorce. They have already been meeting with their lawyers, and they’re apparently to trying to get the divorce done on the down-low. But Elin apparently wants to move to Sweden with their kids, and Tiger has hired a custody guru. Great, so the kids get to be part of a custody tug-of-war.

The video below is a reminder to Tiger of what he’s going to miss out on. Seriously, Tiger, what were you thinking? No way Rachel Uchitel even comes close to Elin.

Tiger’s Advert Parody

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It’s only been days since Nike’s new Tiger Woods advertisement was launched, and it’s already gaining heavy media attention. Whether or not people approve of the advert, the points still go to Nike. Frankly, I’m getting sick of people discussing and overanalyzing it.

Instead, let’s go for something light, such as this parody by our crazy friends at Funny Or Die.

So far it’s been getting more “funny” over “die” ratings. What do you think?

I must give shout-outs to the guys behind this parody—Derek Reid as Tiger, writer Andy Harris, graphic dude Jeff Stein, and producer Jim Harmon. Good job, boys!

Tiger’s New Advert

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Here’s one brand that isn’t ditching the shamed golfer. Nike shot a new TV advertisement in the 34-year-old’s golf course in Florida. Being the first TV commercial since Tiger’s scandal last year, the advert has received mixed reactions.

Shot in black and white, the dream-like advert shows a pensive-looking Tiger listening to the voice of his late father Earl Woods. “Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion. I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. And did you learn anything?” Earl asks as the camera slowly zooms in on Tiger.

Some people find the ad a bit creepy and bizarre, while others find it nostalgic. Tiger’s father passed away in 2006, and it was a very difficult period in his life.

Watch the 30-second advert below.

What do you think? Was the idea effective for endorsing Nike?