The James Bond films are one of the few remaining bastions of unapologetic male machismo and misogyny. It’s a film series where you actually expect the main protagonist to treat women as objects, and not doing so would be so out of character. Not that we’re saying misogyny is okay, but that’s precisely why the James Bond movies have such a huge following among men. It’s a movie where you can escape to a world where testosterone is king and affirm your masculinity because when you go out of the theater you’re faced with unflinching reality – women actually rule the world.
So back to James Bond’s unbelievably macho make-believe world, you’ll notice that the typical James Bond formula – is good looks, guns and girls. The actors who play Bond doesn’t only need to be English, he has to have dashing good looks (as if spies really are all good-looking) for how else can he battle villains while still looking like a perfume model (an absolute requirement) AND then bed the girls who pepper all of the Bond films. And the Bond girls are there just for two main purposes – to be ogled by the male moviegoers and to present Bond with an endless array of possible bed partners. The most telling part of their roles to play has to be the names given to them. Bond girls have one of the most sexually suggestive names in movie history, if not the most. These girls were named to elicit just one response – the need for sex. Judge for yourself.
Pussy Galore
Pussy Galore is at the top of this list for very obvious reasons. She, more than any other Bond girl, defines the innate connection of sex and bond girls. Just imagine meeting a girl named Pussy Galore and I bet the first thing you’ll think about is when she’ll start putting out.
Octopussy
Appearing in the Bond movie of the same name, Octopussy is the perfect combination of sex and danger, a combination that men are so attracted to. And at some point your mind will start to wander and think up of really dirty things – like, you know, genitalia and lots of wriggly arms.
Dr. Holly Goodhead
The name Dr. Holly Goodhead is a misnomer if ever there’s one. Goodhead won’t make you think of a pretty visage or a saintly cranium, that’s for sure.
Xenia Onatopp
When Xenia Onatopp battled James Bond in Goldeneye, she ensnared our hero in a death grip using her thighs. She wanted to ride Bond to death. I know a lot of men who would prefer to go that way.
Chew Mee
You go up to a girl, ask for her name and she tells you, “Chew Mee.” The only valid response to that is “yes, of course. Your place or mine?”
Cigar Girl
Cigar Girl is the unnamed assassin in The World is Not Enough who offered Bond a cigar. Anyone who has lived through the Clinton administration will have had their brains rewired to think that cigars are not just a vice, it’s an erotic device.
Photo credit: jamesbondwiki.com
