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Celebrific

Tracking Celebrities in Their Native Habitat

MrAlmostWrong

Isabel Lucas is the Model of the Day

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You really didn’t think I would leave you hanging with Laura Linney for today did you? Just because I am having a horrible day doesn’t mean I would totally take it out on you. I can’t even totally take it out on myself, I need some fine looking loving myself you know. I’m only human.

Funny thing is she isn’t even really a model. She is an actress. You might remember her as the bad female Transformer in the sequel. You remember right? The hot one that even you would bone, but then she pulled out a 10ft tongue and became all robot-like. Mad hottie. I guess she is in Daybreakers as well, but I won’t see that movie until I can buy it from a Chinese middleman in a back alley in Wichita. That’s how I get all my movies. Great quality.

I even have a frequent buyers card where after 9 illegal purchases I get one free. What a deal.

Anyways, don’t ever think for a second that I don’t care about you because I do. With all my butt.

Ali Larter Kissed a Clown

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Kissing a clown is the only reasonable explanation for having red lipstick on like this. The girl is pale as snow and decides it would be best to wear the brightest red lipstick known to man? Seriously Hollywood when are you going to get it together? It’s almost as if you never played dress up when you were little so now you figure that with millions in the bank you can start now. I just don’t get it. Isn’t there a school to help people out like this?

Even worse is when they are attractive. She is a stunner. I could live without the outfit, but the lipstick is unforgivable. Maybe she uses it to prevent her man from trying to do the dirty with her because who would want to kiss that knowing that your face would look like a tomato afterwards?

Remember how I was telling you about my bad week? It just got worse. I can’t explain why, but it sucks even more now. Ali didn’t make it better and she usually always makes it better. What a bad day.

Laura Linney is Your Friday Hottie of the Day

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You may think that I am being a bit more refined by making her the hottie of the day, but I’m not. I am having a horrible week and this is how I take it out on all of you. This is what you get for the hottie of the day. A great actress with the personality of a walnut. And let me tell you something, walnuts suck. Give me a macadamia any day of the week.

This is probably a mean entry about Laura who has never done anything wrong to anyone, but I don’t care. I am a spiteful mofo and therefore I am spiting the world. Why oh why do I have to be having the week that I am having. Is it because I need more Linneys in my life? I don’t know what it will take to change things around, but I will figure it out somehow.

You are lucky this isn’t my last entry of the week or you would be left with Linney. I do have some hotties still in the pipeline so I’m not that big of an ass. Anyways to make it up to Laura I am going to suggest all of you go see her latest movie. I have no idea what it is or if one even exists, but you should go make it happen and watch it. I have no doubt you will enjoy it.

Does Emily Blunt look happy to you?

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This is Emily Blunt at the London premiere of Wolfman and she doesn’t look too happy. I have no idea why she doesn’t look happy. Maybe because she has to stand next to del Toro who is a very creepy person. A great actor, but how many great actors are not creepy people in real life? It’s almost a prerequisite and makes you wonder what is wrong with the world.

Or she could be upset that she is British and has bad teeth. Not saying all British people have bad teeth, but none of them have good teeth before corrective surgery. Does that explain my feelings on the topic because it should and if still doesn’t then just look into Emily’s eyes and maybe you will find the answer.

Sometimes the answer is right in front of us and hopefully we somehow trip and fall over it. Those are the good days. This week was a bad week for me. I lost $800 gambling. The answer in front of me was get out while I am ahead and I couldn’t do it. I wanted to give back to the economy by losing it all.

Obama told me so. Emily, let’s makeout and although that won’t make us happy, it will give us something to do.

Alexis Dziena is an enigma

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Not going to lie, I like this girl, but I question myself as to why. She looks like a little kid, but apparently is a woman. She is a 25-year old woman born in New York. She is of Polish and Italian descent and you can definitely see the Polish in her along with the name.

She is hot though. I saw a close up of her teeth and I must say I’m a bit suspicious, but that is simply me being cynical. That’s how I roll. She can’t be more than 80lbs and maybe 62 inches tall. Now I know what some of you perverts are thinking in regards to what you could do with a woman of that size, but that isn’t how things work around here.

I’m watching Pulp Fiction while I write this and after looking at Uma Thurman I am convinced that Alexis is way better looking and I would date her and John Travolta over her. Of course that has nothing to do with anything, but why should it have anything to do with something.

Friday can’t come soon enough. Alexis, hit me up. I’ll be at nickel beer night.