MrAlmostWrong

Jessica Biel is plaining it up. Yes, I said plaining.

Jessica Biel has some manly features, I don’t think many people would argue that. However, that doesn’t take her away from being sexy. Her bootay is off the chain and she always looks fit. However, what is she trying with this outfit? I don’t mind a chick maxing and relaxing, but there is a time and place and one of them is not at a photoshoot.

Jessica, it’s been a while for you to star in a major movie and with Valentine’s Day coming out do you really want to turn people away? Women will want to see this with men, but men will have no incentive to go if they don’t think they are going to see some greatness. This picture doesn’t inspire greatness. Even the women want to see a little bit of sex oozing from you. This is more like the little girl who would knock on my door and ask if I wanted to play some kickball.

I mean if you are going to get outshined by Alison Brie, which isn’t very hard considering her photos, then you know you need to step up your game and there is no game stepping going on here Jessica. It’s bad enough that Justin Timberlake cheats on you because you dress more manly than him, but making us suffer as well isn’t a good thing.

I don’t even know if she can make this up to us beyond posing in Complex. In fact, that is the only way she can make up for this disaster of a picture. I’m not going to see the movie because of this picture. You read that right. I’m keeping my $70 and doing something else.

Alison Brie, Round 2 is the Winner

by MrAlmostWrong

Yesterday I talked about how hot Alison Brie is, but I dissed all of you by only posting one pic. Just to show you how much I care I have come across some of the outtakes from that photoshoot and decided I would share them with you because I am that cool of a guy. I can’t say I blame myself for being so cool, but that is how I roll. Straight up homie from the westside as they say in all the raps about me.

There seems to be a rule amongst men that before you marry a woman you need to see how her mother looks because it is assumed she will grow up and end up looking like her. In this case aren’t you dying to see Alison’s mom? I mean, she looks as if she is 18 years old and fabulous and yet she is 26 years old and stunning. I’m being dead serious that if she doesn’t start getting down to the business on Community I am going to protest the show. Not that it would make any difference, but these things need to be done.

Tomorrow I have a date with a woman and I’m looking forward to it because she is fun, not because she looks like Alison. If she looked like Alison we would be married by now, trust me on that on. I’m not even the marrying type, but when you look like this you can bring change among men. The powers of women who wear almost absolutely nothing.

I want that power.

Jessica Lowndes is your Hottie of the Day

by MrAlmostWrong

Jessica Lowndes is a Nelly Furtado look alike which is a very good thing. Interestingly enough they are both Canadian as well. She is an actress and get this, you will never believe it, an aspiring singer. Her biggest break in America so far is a guest appearance on Kyle XY, which isn’t that big of a deal when you think about it. In fact it isn’t a big deal at all. If we want to see more of this beauty we have to hope and pray that somehow she develops some half-decent acting chops and starts using them.

When I say ‘half-decent’ I mean she has to be like Megan Fox because her skills aren’t even half-decent and somehow she manages to get buy. I think Jessica can top Megan or at the very least get on top of her. Zing? It worries me though that she wants to sing because I believe that shows a lack of focus and you need some focus unless you are extremely talented by any measure. I’m going to go out on a limb and say she isn’t.

I need to see if I can get the correct pronunciation of her last name because none of it seems to flow off my tongue any. The first name I got no problem, but after that I’m in a pickle with no tickle. If you know me, I get upset when I can’t get a tickle on my pickle because I like my pickle tickled. Makes perfect sense to me and I thought it would make perfect sense to you.

I have an enlarged size picture of Jessica on my wall now right next to my Gloria Estefan poster. It’s my castle I can do what I want.

Man, my hatred for Leelee Sobieski is unmatched

by MrAlmostWrong

There are very few people in Hollywood that really piss me off, but if you happen to be one of those people then know that you do a great job of really, really pissing me off. Leelee Sobieski is probably my most hated actress out there. I’m being dead serious when I say I could watch a movie starring Britney Speaks, Paris Hilton and Gwyneth Paltrow over any movie that has Leelee in it.

I remember she was in some scary movie and I have never rooted for someone to die so bad in my life and I hate death. I don’t ever want anyone to die in these movies, but she pushed me over the edge. I don’t know if it is the way she looks or her acting, but I’m so glad she isn’t in as many movies as she was before. It seemed at the beginning of the decade she was going to be in every film that I wanted to see, but maybe she slept with the wrong producer and therefore her career went spiraling out of control because of it.

If that really is the case then this producer needs to receive some type of reward for ruining his own career at the risk of making the public happy. That really is taking one for the team. Now this magazine Lush makes me wonder why they decided to feature an actress that nobody cares about or can remember the last time they seen her star in something.

Oh yeah, that’s right, she was the bad guy (spoiler!!!!) in 88 Minutes. At least she (spoiler!!!!) died in that one. That alone almost saved the movies, but alas it didn’t. Suckage.

Kaley Cuoco shows Alicia Silverstone how to red carpet

by MrAlmostWrong

You notice how I made red carpet a verb and not a noun? I have the skills to kill like that.

Anyways, I had to post some red carpet action so you weren’t left for the Alicia Silverstone disaster. Here is Kaley and she seems like a cool person. She likes nerds and yes I am making that assumption because she is on a show with geeks and she dates one of them. Because of this I believe everything that is on TV.

Simon Cowell is a nice person. Don’t you see this on TV like I do? Guess what, I don’t even own a TV and yet I know these things. Here is a great example.

Barney the dinosaur. Here terrorizes kids. True story. That is what Kaley.

MrAlmostWrong

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