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Celebrific

Tracking Celebrities in Their Native Habitat

MrAlmostWrong

Christina Hendricks Doesn’t Do It For Me

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I can understand why men drool all over her and it is quite possible that I caught her on a bad day, but I’m just not seeing the appeal about her. She is ghostly pale, a typical trait of redheads, her face isn’t that great, the makeup doesn’t help at all and (I might never say this again) her breasts seem to be too big for her body.

Too big for her body???!!!

Yes, just like a man’s tool can be too big for the ladies, a woman’s breasts can be too big for her frame and this is a great example. Maybe that is why she wore the worst lipstick known to man because she wanted to divert attention away from her giant rack. It didn’t work because in my effort to avoid looking at her face I am drawn right back to her breasts.

I have a whole gallery of photos of her, but I just can’t bring myself to post them. Seriously, she looks like she had sex on the car ride over and did a quick make up job and forgot to brush her hair.

On second thought, I kind of like this woman.

Tara…LOL…Reid…LOL…Does…LOL…Playboy…Baaaaaarf

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In the battle of the irrelevants, Maxim lands Olivia Munn on its cover while Playboy gets Tara Reid. I remember back in the day she always claimed she wouldn’t do Playboy although they kept on sending her offers. I guess the money always runs out eventually and you have to step up your strip game if you want to stay above water.

Now if you have seen any Tara pics over the past 5 years then you know something is right with her body and by something I mean everything and by everything I mean “yo WTF is wrong with your stomach, breasts, eyes and toes?” To top it off and break the trend of Playboy sucking by never showing nudity they are going to have topless photos of Tara. Now this could easily mean topless with her hands covering the goods and in a way I hope this is the case.

Tara is out to prove that people continue to only show old pictures of her and that is unfair so she wants to show the world her body is fine. Just in case, here is an old pic. Bathe yourself in her sexiness.

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I can’t fdasflkaflajfing wait.

The Olivia Munn Maxim Cover and Something About PMS

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Well there is no shortage of Olivia Munn bashing going on here at Celebrific, but seeing as how we bash everyone we don’t really care. So here is another photoshoot of Olivia Munn and this time it is for Maxim. Now I’m not saying her life long goal was to become a great actress, but if so she missed that boat about 10 years ago it looks like.

Have you ever read about her in an article that didn’t involve some sexy pics of her? Nothing wrong with being famous for how you look, hell if you are wise you exploit the living donkey urine out of it. The problem is when you don’t realize that this will bring some naysayers to the crowd and apparently Ms. Munn has been getting them a lot if her most recent blog entry is any indication. I mean she goes completely ape dung here.

Oh, and YES, let me go ahead and address this now so I don’t have to again…

YES, that’s my ass. YES, I did a cover shoot and spread for Maxim Magazine. So YES I was in revealing outfits. But NO. NO, that doesn’t make me, or any other girl who takes provocative pictures, a whore or slut or anything else that some pathetic loser, who just sits behind the comfort of a computer screen judging, feels like saying. I wore what I felt comfortable in. I’m comfortable in my own skin. I’m comfortable with my sexuality.

And if you have any problems with me in this spread, I have two things to say to you: 1. Just don’t look. And 2. You sound like you just need a good fuck.

Feel free to go read the rest of the tirade, but to be honest it just sounds like someone isn’t happy with reality. You make money by dressing skimpy and getting pics taken of yourself. Accept it and be happy with it girl. I mean EVERY photoshoot I’ve seen you in is the same way so even if you are going to deny it the facts are already laid out there.

Good actress? Not really. Great personality? Meh. Hot? Fo sho. Deal with it.

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Kourtney Kardashian is on an extreme weight loss program, in other news she had her baby

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Kourtney is my favorite Kardashian. She is the best looking one and in a weird twist of fate, although she looks like she is the youngest, she is actually the oldest and shortest. She also let the above douchebag get her pregnant. I kid you not, this slick haired grease monkey was able to put it in her, get her pregnant, milk some of her money and he doesn’t even have to marry her.

He gets to stare at Kim in a bikini from time to time and wonder what keeps Bruce Jenner’s face together. I hate this guy. I’m not even going to look up his name because I hate him so much. I want his life even if it does mean I have to see Khloe every once in a while.

What is really weird about her having a kid though is that apparently she didn’t want one before. I can’t blame her considering it will be the spawn of the porcupine, but what kind of life do you live when you are the oldest sister and yet your two younger sisters get to be involved with super rich athletes? And you stick with this idiot?!

Oldest Kardashian? Check. Sexiest Kardashian? Check. Smartest Kardashian? See ya.

Eva Longoria Sucks Up To Kim Kardashian

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Kim Kardashian and Eva Longoria

Isn’t it funny how most celebrities hate the paparazzi, but if all the cameras stopped following them they would miss the lights? Even more humorous is how non-celebrities get more people following them than actual celebrities. Take for example, Kim Kardashian and Eva Longoria. Eva stars in an award-winning show and is married to a semi-famous athlete. Kim has sex with a has been singer, has the sextape leaked and is now more famous and well-known than Eva.

What happens if you are a celebrity in this case? I think you have no choice, but to join forces with the non-celeb just so you can get your picture taken as well. You know Eva doesn’t give two rats’ tails about Kim, but Kim has the photogs and the ego of a celeb needs to be fed.

Hey Kim, you know I don’t like you, but where are you going tonight? Would love to do a fake hug for the cameras and pretend we are friends so let me know what your plans are. Looking forward to it, should be fun. Toodles!