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Celebrific

Tracking Celebrities in Their Native Habitat

MrAlmostWrong

Sophia Bush is the Only Bush I Want

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Sophia Bush

If you are wondering whether or not I looked up if Sophia Bush was related to George Bush then you don’t have to wonder anymore because I did. You want to know the answer? Stay tuned to the end of the post.

Now, seeing her in these pictures has made me consider getting some portraits of my own done. I think I can pull off the different background and different outfit look. In fact, I might do it and get signed by an agency, then you will see my wonderful buttocks fitting into some nice spandex pants to help accentuate my calves and you will drool.

I’m not too confident in how my thighs will look in spandex, but hopefully you are so drawn towards my calves that you don’t gaze above my knees. Then again if you do that you might see my huge bulge caused by the fact I like to stuff my crotch with grapes. They are good for the skin. If you happen to try it don’t blame me that you can only wear a pair of underwear once before having to buy more.

You just have to know how to adjust to things and admittedly it takes some practice.

To answer your question, no, Sophia Bush is not related to George Bush. But she is related to me, she is my wife. Booyah.

Mallika Sherawat is Your Indian Hotness of the Day

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Mallika Sherawat

It’s my goal this year to expand the horizons of the celebs we profile here and that means we take a look at foreigners who are famous everywhere but here. Where is here you ask? Here is the Internet where the only famous people are ones that posts videos of their cats singing on YouTube. Anyways this is Mallika Sherawat and she is good. No I haven’t seen anything by her, but you can tell by the look in her eyes that she is good.

That is why when you look at any of the Baldwins you just don’t get a sense of them being any good. They have beady eyes that you simply can’t trust. Now Angelina Jolie has eyes that scream I am good. I mean seriously they scream I am good. They scream they are good at everything. Can you tell I like Jolie just a little bit?

Anyways, back to Mallika. I’m trying to give her attention and here I go talking about other people. How rude of me. Here is a surprising fact that I found out about her on Wikipedia. She is usually portrayed as a sex symbol in the Indian media. That is surprising and I’m not sure why they would even attempt to do such a thing to such a highly intelligent woman.

You just can’t trust the media sometimes. I am not the media, I am a purveyor of the truth. They will sing about me after my death and by they I mean them. Over there. They are already singing probably because they are drunk.

Ali Lohan looks like Vera de Milo

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Ali Lohan

If you were a fan of In Living Color then you know about Jim Carrey’s character Vera de Milo who was a steroid chewing female bodybuilder. Now the Lohan family is messed up enough as it is so I hate to bring more down upon them, but once you see the photo below you will understand why I had to point out these similarities. It really is scary because this is an exact match.

Now another question that needs to be raised is why she looks so upset about things because she is famous for having a drugged up Disney star sister so you would think she is in coasterville. She doesn’t have to do anything, but she just doesn’t get it. She is probably spoiled and wished that Lindsay would go back to being a red head that didn’t sleep with everyone with a penis, that includes Samantha Ronson.

A final question is why would she wear a swimsuit that looks as though it was made for a 5-year old? I mean it’s not even covering her nipples, at least I think it isn’t. I’m too distracted by how horrific the thing is on her that I am in complete shock at the thought that someone would look in the mirror and think that the outfit is okay.

Was her sister not around to guide her? Hell, what am I saying, her sister was probably the one that encouraged her to wear it. Lindsay is sneaky like that.

Vera de Milo

Evangeline Lilly Ain’t Half Bad

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Evangeline Lilly

When Lost first came out she was the hotsauce on the sausage, but now that the show has kind of lost its luster you don’t hear much about her anymore. Well, by the judging of this pick you have to wonder why she doesn’t take on more projects because she is a looker.

When I say looker, I mean she looks good. It is old people speak that you young people might not understand. I’m not sure why we call someone a looker, but I’m pretty sure it means that we don’t want to call her a hooker so we find something that rhymes with it. For the same reason we like to call women litches sometimes. It just seems to flow off the tongue better.

Either way what is she going to do when the show is over? Hopefully she does some horror flicks because she just seems like she would fit that mold. I’m not sure what characteristics you need to have to be within that mold, but trust me, she has it.

Man, for some reason I’m struggling to come up with anything to say about her. I’m almost tempted to not even publish this entry just because she is that boring. Which explains perfectly why she doesn’t have any other projects to work on. If I am bored by her picture, then can you imagine how she is in real life?

Forget this, on to the next one.

Vanessa Hudgens is a Sith Overlord

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Vanessa Hudgens

The Dark Side continues to move forward, even after the Jedis felt they extinguished them all. Vanessa Hudgens is the latest in a long line of Sith Overlords. I’m not sure if she is an apprentice or master yet, but either way she is on the darkside. At least this is what her man Zac Effron continues to tell me because she has him on lockdown when he could be banging any other female celebrity out there.

This doesn’t necessarily make her evil, but it definitely makes him a sissy. I wanted to use a harsher word than sissy, but seeing how these are Disney stars I didn’t want the almighty Empire to come crashing down upon me. I give her props though with the nude photos that leaked a while ago, it showed she has a little bit of freak in her so it is almost understandable why he keeps her around. I’m just waiting for the eventual breakup because I just bought a new phone with a very large screen to view more of her pics so hopefully she sends some my way shortly.

Man, I think I really do have a crush on her now. She used some nasty Darklord mind trick on me, I swear I had no feelings about her before I wrote this and now I want her to impregnate me and I can’t even get pregnant. Something very, very fishy is going on here and I’m not too comfortable with this turn of events.