Allison

Are you ready for the first-ever rap performance and first-ever broadcasted ‘bitches’ at the Academy Awards?  At the request of the Academy & ABC the authors, Three 6 Mafia, of Best Song nominee “It’s Hard Out There for a Pimp” from the film Hustle and Flow will be performing a less offensive version of the song for the red carpet-ridden awards night. 

Here’s a little taste: 

“You know it’s hard out here for a pimp (you ain’t knowin)
When he tryin to get this money for the rent (you ain’t knowin)
For the Cadillacs and gas money spent (you ain’t knowin)
Because a whole lot of bitches talkin shit (you ain’t knowin)
Will have a whole lot of bitches talkin shit (you ain’t knowin)

Man it seems like I’m duckin dodgin bullets everyday
Niggaz hatin on me cause I got, hoes on the tray
But I gotta stay paid, gotta stay above water
Couldn’t keep up with my hoes, that’s when shit got harder
North Memphis where I’m from, I’m 7th Street bound
Where niggaz all the time end up lost and never found”

 
The song portrays the life of a hustler in the inner city of Memphis, Tennessee.  Three 6 Mafia and Taraji P. Henson will be performing the song at Sunday night’s festivities.  Although many lyric changes have been made a spokesman for Gil Cates, the producer of the Oscars telecast, confirmed that the word “bitches” was not one of them.  So if we can only get Janet Jackson to bare both breasts, if will be a night to remember.  But I’m just a bitch talkin shit.

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With Oscar night and the red carpet just around the corner, I thought we’d reminisce over the past Oscar years.  I have carefully uncovered 10 photographs that I didn’t think we could live without, enjoy.

 

 

 

Icelandic singer Bjork ruffled feathers at Oscar night 2001 with her quite amusing Swan Lake tutu, complete with billed head, stitched unto a flesh-colored bodysuit.  I think only Bjork could pull this off, Cher might try- but no dice.  You know, I think she’s rather cute.

 

 

 

Do you think twice when you invite South Park creators Matt Stone & Trey Parker to the 2000 Oscars?  Leave it to this creatively hilarious duo to come in drag.  Stone is apparently wearing a replica of the pink cotton Ralph Lauren gown Gwyneth Paltrow wore  in 1999 when she won Best Actress for her work in Shakespeare In Love.

Parker opted for the much-talked-about green Versace dress that Jennifer Lopez wore at the Grammy awards that year, which was threatening to halt proceeding with the plunging neckline.  Oh, you boys!

Francis Ford Coppola is seen in 1975 with three of six Academy Awards Godfather II raked in that year.  He would later stand with his daughter, Sofia, when she won her Oscar for Lost In Translation in 2004.  That’s kinda sweet.

 

In 1998, the one and only Roberto Benigni won big for the Italian film, Life Is Beautiful.  He entertained and shocked everyone by climbing over seats to collect his award.  When accepting his first Oscar for Best Foreign Film, Benigni said: “This is a moment of joy, and I want to kiss everybody. I feel like now, really, to dive in this ocean of generosity. I would like to thank my parents for giving me the greatest gift… of poverty.”

 

In a huge surprise, everyone’s money was on Tom Hanks for Saving Private Ryan, Benigni also won Best Actor- becoming the first performer in a foreign language film to win this award.  In his bafflement and excitement he shared, “This is a terrible mistake because I have used up all my English.  I would like to be Jupiter in the firmament… lying down and making love to everybody. This is something I cannot forget from the bottom of heart. Really, I don’t deserve this, but I hope to win some other Oscars.”

You cannot help but to love this man to pieces.

 

In a custom-made blue tuxedo, a painfully goateed Johnny Depp hits the red carpet in 2005 with his lovely Vanessa Paradis.  I’m not sure what he was going for with the pirated Buddy Holly look, maybe Jack Sparrow has been getting further into his head, and wardrobe, than need be.  All I can really say is, “Arrrrrrrrrr.”  BTW, do you need to know your pirate name?

 

 

 

At the 2004 Oscars, Renee Zelweger is looking radiant in this lovely old-Hollywood number.  She won Best Supporting Actress that year for her role in Cold Mountain.  Funny, cold mountain seems to describe her current emotional welfare after the short-lived marriage to country singer Kenny Chesney. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can I be Adrian Brody for a while and sweep folks into a dead-stop, open mouth smooch?  When Halle Berry read out the winner for Best Actor in 2003, ‘Adrian Brody!!’ burst from her lips.  Brody came up from the audience to accept his award for The Pianist and casually, decisively, gathered Halle into a long, unforgettable french kiss- which was soon to be of legend and lore.

 

 

 

 

And yet again in 2004 when Brody was in charge of reading the winner of Best Actress Charlize Theron, who won for Monster, was taken- after a spray of breath freshener- into a short, but sexy kiss.  I tell you, I’m just going to start kissing strangers this way.  If I see a hottie, that’s it- it’s over, they’re mine. 

I do have to say that I lost Brody with that ridiculous Coke commercial.  You feeling me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mystic River pulled from the murky waters an Oscar in 2004 for Tim Robbins as Best Supporting Actor.  Here he is seen with his long-breasted life partner Susan Sarandon.  It looks like you can dance on those things.

 

 

 

 

I saved a goodie for last.  Marlon Brando & Bette Davis are seen at the 1954 Oscars where Brando won Best Actor for On The Waterfront.  He would only win two Oscars in his lifetime, the other for Best Actor in The Godfather.  Did anyone else know that Bette Davis was an elf? 

Well, we have traveled to & fro in this Oscar award love affair and I’m only getting more excited for Sunday’s show.