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Celebrific

Tracking Celebrities in Their Native Habitat

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Crazy Sean Young Crashes Vanity Fair Oscar Party

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Woods & Young.bmpCrazy lady actress Sean Young is at it again.  The usually unemployed actress caused mayhem at the Vanity Fair Oscar party when she snuck into the invitation only / non-crazy people celebration tucked behind Jennifer Aniston’s arrival. 

Young, 46, followed closely behind Anniston as she arrived at the event.  She skipped past photographers, dashed inside and sparked a mad frenzy with event organizers upon the realization that batty Young had entered their Young-free safe zone. 

Security refused to let anyone else inside the party until the Blade Runner actress was found.  Through barking organizers yelling into headphones and security guards wrangling the stray into a Scooby Doo style net, Young was apprehended and thrown out the back door. 

Damn, that’s hard on a girl, but this is really no ordinary female.  She was sued by creepy guy James Woods for stalking him in 1990 after their film work together in The Boost, I feel certain I could come up with a better person to stalk.  My favorite Sean Young antic is when she paraded around Hollywood in a catsuit unsuccessfully lobbying for the part of Catwoman in Batman Returns. 

All in all Sean Young keeps it real, although maybe a little bit too real, as Dave Chappell puts it.  If you have some time, please check out Young’s hilariously sad yet entertaining personal site. 

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This Week’s Hollywood Top Ten

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Hollywood.com did this fantastic ‘Top Ten’ list for the week.  Take a peek. 

1. 24 star Elisha Cuthbert, for taking a risk. The sexy star will play a quadriplegic in William H. Macy’s new movie He Was a Quiet Man.

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2. The Los Angeles-based Bad Cinema Society, for good taste. The group named Alone in the Dark Worst Film of the Year. Son of the Mask, meanwhile, picked up the most dishonors, taking home five Stinkers, including a Worst Actor gong for Jamie Kennedy.

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3. Scrubs star Zach Braff, for following up. Braff will direct, co-star, adapt and produce a remake of the Danish film Open Hearts, a romantic drama about two people who fall in love after a car accident.

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4. Coca-Cola, for marketing a new and much-needed drink. The soft drink giant will unveil its new soft drink, Coca-Cola Blak, during the Oscar pre-show on Sunday. The new beverage, a combination of Coke and coffee, is scheduled to hit grocery store shelves this spring.

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5. The racial drama Crash, for sacrilege. The film won an award as the Most Profane Film of the Year from the conservative movie watchdog group Family Media Guide. According to the organization, the film contains 182 expletives, 62 incidents of violence and 16 incidences containing sexual content.

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6. Canned West Wing star Rob Lowe, for getting his comeuppance. Lowe is returning to NBC’s political drama for the series finale–to ensure the TV show ends on a high.

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7. Wedding Crasher star Vince Vaughn, for breaking into the $20 million club.Vaughn will cement his leading man status with a $20 million paycheck for his starring role in upcoming holiday comedy Fred Claus.

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8. Movie moguls Bob and Harvey Weinstein, for their hearts of cinematic gold. The brothers are auctioning off thousands of props and wardrobe items from their most famous films on online auction sites eBay.com and PremiereProps.com to raise money for the Weinstein’s Max Family Foundation and the Entertainment Industry Foundation.

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9. “Brokeback,” for its linguistic powers. The non-profit group Global Language Monitor has placed “Brokeback” at the top of its annual Hollywood words and phrases list.

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10. Salma Hayek, 50 Cent, Tom Hanks, Bono and Brad Pitt, for their contribution to AIDS awareness. The five stars are going to wear white clothing and matching wristbands, and click their fingers to mark the people dying of AIDS every three seconds for a new Internet and print ad for awareness Web site One.org.

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Jessica Alba’s Father a Playboy Himself

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Jessica Alba Playboy.jpgThe fray over Jessica Alba’s Playboy cover continues; Susan Storm herself is battling the Playboy tides.  Playboy’s Sex and Music Issue that hit stands this month features a bikini-ed Alba on the front cover, despite pleas to keep her out of the men’s magazine. 

Alba threatened legal action after Playboy bosses put her on the cover & claiming they implied she was naked inside.  The born again Christian insists the powers-that-be ignored her pleas not to appear in the issue. 

She explains, “They asked me to do it and I said no, and then they offered to pay and I said no and then they went behind my back and I just don’t think it’s right.  It’s not the mark I want to make in this business.” 

That mark is for your other business, eh?  OK, when you can type your name, this case being ‘Jessica Alba’, into the Google image search and come back with close to 10 nearly naked photos, I don’t think you’re allowed to complain when Playboy puts you on the cover in a bikini. 

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Immediately following the release of the March issue Alba states, “Then I got a call from my father”.  Who said, “Damn, girl! You’re lookin’ hot and I was half of that damn equation.  That must make me half-hot. Wait until I show the guys at Wednesday night poker!”

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McCarthyism Still Prevalent, Paris Hilton Blacklisted From Oscar Party

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mccarthy1.jpgI can’t tell if Paris is just a news whore, or if I’m becoming the Paris Hilton News Update Central.  I’m fairly certain it’s going to fall to the former.

In a move Joseph McCarthy himself would be proud of, Vanity Fair’s editor Graydon Carter has blacklisted our little socialite and vyer of Charlize Theron roles, Paris Hilton.  Paris was banned from attending the much sought after, invitation only post-Oscar Vanity Fair party. 

The party’s guest list this year was at a mere 500 with Madonna, Teri Hatcher, Jennifer Anniston, Nicole Kidman, Heath Ledger, Joaquin Phoenix & Jennifer Lopez in attendance.  The festivities were held at Morton’s Restaurant in Beverly Hills. 

In an almost Mrs. Dalloway approach Graydon, a complicated man in his own right stated, “Paris who?  She will never attend one of the parties I host.” 

I like the sound of that, “Paris, who?”

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Paris Hilton to be Drawn & Quartered by High Court

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Zeta.jpgTHE FIGHT OF THE HEIRESSES:  Paris Hilton is set to spend the month of September in court where she is to answer the charges of slandering Greek actress Zeta Graff.  The hotel heiress & leg-spreader stands accused of spreading “vicious lies” about 34-year-old Graff.

Graff filed suit against Hilton last year claiming that the reality TV starlett fabricated a fight with Graff in a London nightclub.  The Greek actress’s case was strengthened during a reposition in December when Hilton’s ex-publicist (she has a lot of exes, doesn’t she?) Rob Shuter admitted he had planted a news item with the New York Post’s gossip column per Hilton’s request.

Diamond heiress Graff states she will win the case saying, “Hilton will learn a valuable lesson about what happens when you try to ruin another person’s reputation.  I look forward to her explaining all of this to the jury.  And I look forward to watching her pretty, American face screaming in agony as the horses gain speed against the ropes tied around her small, little insignificant limbs as she is quartered.  Ha ha ha ha ha (evil laughter emanating from Greek vocal cords).”

So, I might have embellished a wee bit, but I think they both had it coming to them.  Is this really the fate of our legal system as we know it, to be time-wasted by petty little bitches?

Come now, that’s fairly silly.

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